A friend asked me a question few weeks ago that I haven't been able to stop thinking about: "What's your plan if the whole cabin or farm thing doesn't work out?"
My mind went black for a few seconds. I just realized I didn't have an answer. But that's not because I hadn't thought it through, but because... I hadn't let myself think that way. So I told him, "I don't have a plan". Not because I'm reckless, but because I'm all in - this is the Plan A.
This cabin, the farm, this slower life I've been dreaming about - it isn't a side project. It's the life that I want. The life I'm slowly building and the life that makes sense for me. And I knew from the beginning that to make it happen, I'd have to risk things. Comfort, security, predictability and the safety net of 'Plan B'. Cause there's no Plan B.
But I gotta be honest, eventhough I wanted a slower life, the reality is... Life hasn't slowed down. At least not yet.
With the whole moving away from Jakarta, my full time job went through changes and that includes cut on my salary. That stability that I relied on? Suddenly not so reliable, all wobbly. So I started accepting freelance projects. And I now realized, I probably said yes to more than I probably should. My days are packed and my calendar still looks nothing like slow living.
I keep telling people I want slower quieter life, yet here I am -- working more, thinking more, doing more. It's kind of ironic.
* * *
But I'm learning something important. Slowing down doesn't mean working less. It means choosing with intention. Moving with clarity and direction. Creating a life that feels rooted and not rushed. And maybe for now, for me, that looks like working more hours so I can fund a future I deeply believe in. Maybe it means carrying both dreams and deadlines for a while.
Maybe this is what building a slow life actually looks like in its early stages -- messy, uncertain, still tangled up in the old rhythms. But underneath all that? The direction is still clear. I know my dream and the kind of future I want to live.
So, what if it actually fails?
I still don't know.
I haven't made a backup plan. Because I'm not building one. I'm just gonna focus on building this dream.
And yes, I'm not gonna lie there are days (many of them honestly) where I worry. But then I remember, this dream didn't come out of nowhere. It came from a place of deep longing and it still feels like the most honest thing I've ever chosen. So I keep going. Even when it's tiring, even when it's scary, even when I feel like I'm chasing a "slow life" at a full speed.
Even though this isn't the soft, cozy season of slow living I imagined (at least not yet). But maybe that's okay. I now understand slow living isn't about things being easy. Right now even with the chaos, I know I'm building something that matters (importantly to me).
So no, I do not have a plan B.
But I have this dream and I'm all in.
Even though this isn't the soft, cozy season of slow living I imagined (at least not yet). But maybe that's okay. I now understand slow living isn't about things being easy. Right now even with the chaos, I know I'm building something that matters (importantly to me).
So no, I do not have a plan B.
But I have this dream and I'm all in.
Slow Living at Full Speed
May 27, 2025
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